Absence Makes the Heart
by SilverTurtle
Summary: Moze thinks about just how wrong everything has gone. Little Noze but ultimately Mozie.


A/N: Okay, so I thought I should give you all something since I seem to have lost interest in my only other incomplete story. I will finish it eventually, it'll just take me longer than I expected. I realized too little too late that I have no idea what normal people do at homecoming dances (being as I never actually attended one) and must make things up as I go along. Which really isn't any different from what I do with my other stories. Anyway, I wrote this once yesterday but when I tried to put it up something went wonky, I lost all the data, and had to write it all over again. I liked the first version better, but this one's okay too I guess.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, but oh how I wish I did. I could have a lot of fun with episodes then. Wreaking havoc with the minds of impressionable youths and all that.

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They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. _They_ say a lot of things, but for Moze, this one happens to be true.

Suzie and Moze had become friends. It was a gradual kind of thing. Finding through volleyball that they actually had quite a few things in common, and taking it from there. They had finally gotten to the point where their getting along was more important than their rivalry. They exchanged cell numbers, talked almost every night, went shopping together, saw movies together, played games together…they were fast becoming the best of friends.

But that changed when Suzie started dating Ned. Suddenly Moze was a third wheel to her two best friends. Suddenly they were always together and Moze couldn't hang out with them anymore. She hated feeling like she didn't belong. These were her two best friends and now they had no time for her, she had no other friends to turn to. Sure, she was friendly with a number of different people but those weren't daily friends like Ned and Suzie. With those two as a pair, Moze was suddenly the odd one out.

And she was jealous.

At first she thought it was because Ned never spent any quality time with her and she missed her first best friend, but that theory was soon dispelled when he finally remembered she existed. Ned made time for Moze, which he'd never had to do before, but he did it and that did make Moze feel better for a little while. And Suzie made time for her too, which seemed to put a permanent lightness in Moze's heart. They would do things with her individually and all as a group. They were a unit. Three pieces of the same pie. They all got along again and things were fine. Except whenever Moze saw Ned and Suzie together the jealousy would come back and she didn't know why.

Then Suzie said she was leaving. Moving, actually, to be closer to her dad. Moze would be sad, of course, to see Suzie go but she would survive. How could she not? After all, she _is_ Jennifer Mosley and she _can_ do anything, and do it well. She thought everything would be fine. Life would just go back to normal. Except life didn't.

Moze didn't go back to normal either. She became listless. All her life, her vigor, her zest, left her. The light that used to shine in her eyes went dull. She stopped caring about things. And she got frustrated. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She couldn't figure it out, until Ned told her it all began that fateful week in March when Suzie moved away.

Moze made a shocking realization that day. She _needed_ Suzie. She needed Suzie in a way she hadn't ever needed anyone else in her life. She needed Suzie to give her a purpose. Suzie made her happy, made her try, made her enjoy life and all it had to offer. Suzie gave her a reason to be the Moze everybody knew and loved, including Moze herself. But she had no way of getting that Moze back. And that frustrated her.

So much so did it frustrate her that she railed against the unfairness of it all. So upset was she that she ranted to iTeacher in the midst of a bout of hopelessness and frustration that she would never be her old self unless Suzie magically reappeared in her life. Which iTeacher made happen. At least for one night.

And for that one night, that one game, Moze was back. She had purpose, she had drive, she had determination, and she had Suzie. But the night was too short and too quickly gone. With the night went Suzie, out of Moze's life again, and taking with her once more the essential piece of Jennifer that made her _Moze_.

It was shortly after that game that Moze realized just why Suzie effected her this way. Because Moze loved her. And when Suzie left she unwittingly took Moze's heart with her. But this realization came too little too late, Suzie was gone and Moze would never tell her of this.

She couldn't keep pining after a love that would never be realized anywhere but in her dreams. Instead she tried to make it all better, tried to feel for another what she felt for Suzie. She tried dating the foreign boy, but to no avail. She felt nothing. Not for him. And then there was Ned.

She knew she shouldn't have done it, but she _had_ and there's no way of taking it back. She'd kissed him. She'd kissed Ned. And maybe it was her brain playing tricks on her, or her imagination running wild, or her fooling herself into believing because she wanted _so badly_ for it to be true, but she believed she _might _have felt fireworks. Or maybe it was the knowledge that Ned's lips had kissed Suzie's that made the difference.

In any case, Moze knew it would never last. She couldn't make herself feel things for Ned that she didn't. She just wasn't in love with him. She wouldn't lie to herself. And she couldn't do this to Ned. She couldn't let him believe she felt anything more than friendship for him, it wouldn't be fair. But she couldn't tell him no either.

He was falling for her, and she could see it, but she didn't know how to stop it. She didn't want to hurt him, but no matter what she chose to do he would be hurt. She knew that she couldn't keep lying to him. She couldn't keep kissing him, pretending he was Suzie, and letting him believe that _he_ was what she wanted. It would break his heart if she let this continue for too much longer.

She wished that Suzie would come back. Not that she'd tell Suzie that she loved her. No. She wished Suzie would come back so when she _did_ break up with Ned he'd have someone to turn to. Moze's heart was already broken so there's no danger for her anymore. Suzie was the unwitting possessor of Moze's heart. But Ned, poor _stupid_ Ned, he was in love with Moze and she was going to ruin him. She didn't want to, but she knew she would.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Things weren't supposed to be this way. It's all wrong. Backwards. Upside down. Inside out.

Suzie was _never_ supposed to move away. If she hadn't than Ned wouldn't be in love with Moze right now. He'd be with Suzie. Moze would still have her two best friends in the world. She wouldn't be in love with Suzie. And no one would be hurting. But she _had_ gone, and everything had gone to hell in a hand basket without her.

Ned was _never_ supposed to fall for Moze. If he hadn't than he could happily be with someone else, someone who wouldn't rip his heart out, someone who wasn't his former best friend, someone who could actually love him.

And Moze?

Moze was _never_ supposed to fall in love with Suzie. Because then there wouldn't be anything wrong. And Moze wouldn't be feeling like she was drowning in all the mistakes she'd made, the love she can never have, and all the things that were Never Supposed To Happen.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Unfortunately for Moze, that one happens to be true. You see, her best friend moved away and took Moze's heart with her.

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A/N: That's it. Leave a review please.


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